Vaseline Biker...

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses the woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word...! Next he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline.

And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes.

Big Man Out

Rat a tat tat...

This guys in bed with his wife when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half three in the morning. He thinks about getting the door for a moment and rolls back over.

Then, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and this guy is standing outside.

"Hey," says the stranger, "can you give us a push?"
"No, go to hell! It's half past three. I was in bed sound asleep," says the man and shuts the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Russel, you are such a twat! Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to go to hell? You should be ashamed!"

So after that tongue-lashing, he gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey fella, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah please, man."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"

The guy replies, "I'm over here...on the swings!"

Big Man Out

Spaghetti...

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.

He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

Older but not Wiser
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, shestops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to theclerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?""About 32," is the reply."Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girlthe very same question.The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."Now she's feeling really good about herself.

She stops in a drug storeon her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mintsand asks the clerk this burning question.The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting nextto her the same question.He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets thebest of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel aroundvery slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and hegently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs themagainst each other.After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old amI?"He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could youtell?"The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?""I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Big Man Out

I know , where I have I been. Everywhere and not a thing to show for it!!

But back to the final part of the show

DAY 9

These 2 gent want you to grow up to be something, and they prove that a good hearted woman can love some one like me...

and they are???

DAY 10

This is one of those bands who have went thru it all, but thru the years proved lifes a beach

DAY 11

This good ol' boy sold out a show in less than 43 seconds in 1999, the faster show sold EVER

DAY 12

With a lead vocie like his and the sound that the band came off with, you knew you was a flirtin with disaster

DAY 13

Who wants you to play that funky music???

and last but not least the last one of the challenage

DAY 14

Who are the "OLD DOGS"

Sorry this is a day late, but life can be nuts at time like you all know. I know its not the best of lines ya'll have heard but its the best I could come up with at the moment ha ha ha

Big Man Out

And back to the show

Day 6

These 2 brothers who make up 2 different bands want to get right with the man, but at the same time ain't nobody gonna tell em what to do...

Who are they??

Day 7

With a new LP out and now with a nightly radio show, this gent wants to welcome you to his nightmare, but the "he" has a "she" name

WHO is it???

Day 8

Now on with the harder and faster part of the music world, this band was "caught in a mosh" and was also one of the first to preform with a rap group. "Bring tha noize" Proved they was the man..

what disease are they???

Remember to send all answers to me at

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Big Man Out

Ok, OK I know, where was I... Welp, cant tell ya that!!

But here we go again

Day 3

In 2004, this good ol' boy had 50 Number ones, and to prove it, he released them all again...

Who is he???

Day 4

Now here is a girl who could be a guys worst nightmare. Between kerosene and gun powder and lead... she could be a crazy ex-girlfriend

And she would be???

Day 5

This kid is just a bit too cocky for his own good, and better yet, he wants to be a cowboy. But his style is not too known on the range!

Who is this punk???

Good luck and thanx for playing

Big Man Out