Alighty now, lemme fill ya'll in. I sat up with a case of Bud and got myself at least 7 of those damn yard gnomes!!! I think I best sit out and try to get more of em'!!I must of got the little bugger that has been causing all the hell around here. Its done did been good.

But here I sit once again with a few too.......Not enough Bud in me and ready to start to rambiling about something. But the funny thing is is that I dont know about what. I could sit here and go on about nothing for a couple of moments.But what nothing should I talk about. YA'll know how I feel about the rising gas cost, and lemme tell ya , its not getting any better!! And yet today no one has the brass balls to stand up and say anything. So oh well, right?

I'ma at a loss for words, aint that something.

I bet ya'll thought I was going to be M.I.A. longer than this, welp, to tell ya the truth, I could not get this here box to open up my blog site for a few days. Why the hell not, nothing seems to be right up here on the top of the mountain.

A few notes of the last couple days, Joe Joe and I got to spend a night at camp, no its not all done but its workable. We had hot dogs on hamburger bunns, a good hot fire, and a rain free night. He done did kinda freaked himself out with the night time sounds, but the 4 wheelers cooling done really got to him. It would be so quiet, and then all of the sudden ya would here a ping pang of the motors cooling off. But once in the camper all was good.

The next night we all thought we would get the whole fam out there...even the dogs....NOT GOOD!!

The night started off great. fire, bunks made, no rain, it was all looking good. Then one dog would get them selves all messed up in a tree, then the next one and as you was doing one the other one was doing it all over again. So, now it came the time to go in and "TRY" to go to sleep....HA HA HA HA .... NOT, NOPE, ZIP, ZERO on the sleep part. See, Raven our black lab did not want in that sleeping box one bit. So she would be up and all over the place, and panting so hard that it was rocking the camper. After the feeling of getting sea sick was over, and all seemed to be calming down, she lets out a bark that would curl ya hair!!! That was it, everyone was ready to pack up and head home. Lemme tell ya'll, I never seen 2 dogs, 2 kids and a wife move so quick in my life!

We have even been out one the 4 wheelers alot lately. Joe Joe just wants that thing to be moving all the time, 24/7 if he could. But we do go on a good ride the other day. It was about a good 20 miles, the longest he has been on. And yesterday he got his first true taste of mud and deep water. There is an ol' dirt road up home here that has 5 huge long mud pits on it. Well, being the good guy and having to make sure they was safe I done did run thru first. Lemme say this, it was cold damn deep and smelled like shit!! But the biggest part, it was FUN.

Amy didn't ride on the first time thru, but she didn't have a choice the second time.

So, that's a bit of whats been going on up here on top of the mountain. Yeah I know its not as wild as some of the other days, but its all been good

Until Next Time...

Big Man Out

I done did find this pretty funny and wanted to share it with ya'll. I took the three kids to the local dam and over herd a mom talking to her Friends. By the time she was done I was almost in tears from trying to not laugh out loud and also from thinking of just how true it was!!

When my parents come to visit, as in these holidays, I get flashbacks of childhood. Like when I was a kid, my mother had pat answers and special quips she dished out over and over. One of my least favorites was "Because I said no." I remember thinking what an unfair reply that was to a request.This is my memory of the process:
"Can I spend the night at Vicky's?""No.""Why not?""Because I said no."
Why couldn't she give me a decent reason when turning down my requests? She treats me like a child! She never says that to other adults! Humph!! (sound of feet stomping, door slamming here) I vowed that when I became a parent, I would not repeat the motherizms I grew up with, particularly that one. I would provide reasonable explainations to MY children. Well, I now have children making ridiculous requests and have come to realize that my memory of the discourse between my mother and I was probably not complete. Perhaps it went more like this little chat I recently had with my daughter:
"Can I spend the night at Emily's?"No.""Why not?""Because it's a school night.""But I can go to school with her tomorrow.""No. You'll be up late.""We'll go to bed early.""No. You always stay up late with Emily.""Why not? I promise we'll go to bed early!""No.""Why not?""Because it's a school night.""But what if we promise to go to bed early?""No.""Why not?""BECAUSE I SAID NO!"(sound of feet stomping, door slamming here, punctuated with a loud "It's not fair!" at the end)
Therein lies the Karma of parenthood.

To some of ya'll out there this should sound about right!!!

Big Man Out

Its been an interesting start to the summer up here on this mountain, and thats to say the least. Between everything taking its turn breaking down, its been fun, NOT. But the motor luck is also hitting the in-laws to. They just had to have their car towed. I think the yard Gnomes are coming alive at night and playing against us!!

But now the Kids are home with me and now my days are spent talking to someone that talks back, not just turn their head and look at me in hopes I drop food. And the Big Man here is even babysittin.... Don't laugh..... Stop it .... Yes I can babysit. Actually its not to bad, the little girl is a family Friend, and Jade just loves her to pieces. And on my end, I think she is afraid I might bite or try to eat her if we run outta food or something. When I talk to her , her eyes get huge then she talks to the floor. Most of the time the kids have to tell me what she says cuz I cant hear a single word she says.

And this kid dont eat, or at least around me she dont. I have 2 birds that eat more than I have seen her eat. And if I walk in the room when they are playing, she is done till i walk out.

So I'ma done for now, I'ma gonna go load up the guns and get ready for tonight. I'ma gonna shoot me a yard Gnome!!!

Big Man Out

Here ya'll go. Its almost like a test, so now ya'll be able to tell when someone is really drunk

Drunken Language

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

:1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I'm not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to piss in this parking lot or on the road side.

10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Big Man Out

Just when ya think its all going your way.... WHAMM!!! Something else has to come up from behind ya and kick ya in the ass!!

As some of ya'll may know, Joey got himself a new 4-wheeler, one that is a brand name and one I can find parts for.Done did picked it up Thursday, and we,ve been slinging mud since. My bike seems to be running good besides burning oil, so it all should be good right... ah ...Nope.

Amy this morning was gonna go with some of her Friends and had hopped in that road legal tank of hers' and guess what... can ya hear the music in the back ground...Listen real hard

Dunt Dunt Dunt, Another one bites the dust, and another one down and another one down...Ya'll get the idea.

It done did seem that her tank felt outta place by working and runnin likes its pos' to, so now its on strike, just had it towed outta here this morning. That guy at the garage is starting to like us more than I want him to.

So now, after this here mess gets done, we should be good go for a bit .... Damn well better!!

Big Man Out

A new pastor moved into a town, and he went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation "Genesis 3:10."

Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

Genesis 3:10 So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself."

And they say us here rednecks is stupid...

Big Man Out

Some days I think that there is someone up above having a good laugh at me. The things that seem to happen could not even be written in a good script for a tv show!!

Yesterday, the better half, took the 4-wheeler out to go for a ride around the country side, I watched the kids. About an hour later I get myself a phone call that says HELP, I'm stuck. I'ma thinking to myself that it cant be all that bad. Just go there and give a little shove and she'll be out. HA HA HA....... NOT!!!

Ya'll should of seen the path that she was on... There was NONE. So after a short walk about, she was found up ahead. So on my way to try to be the Prince Charming (more like Shrek), I had seem to find the mud. Oh, not just any mud, shoe eating mud. That slop ate my left shoe right offa my foot. I mean gone, see ya, bye bye!! Now i'ma shoeless on the left side. I try shoving my hand down in the hole to find... well... NOTHING.

What the hell was I gonna do? I said "screw it to myself and kicked the other one off into the weeds. Now I'ma out there trekking in my socks. I can feel everyplace on the bottom of my feet this morning where shit was poking the flats of me feet.

So after walking a bit more up the path that was not there, I find the 4-wheeler. There aint no little shove gonna happen. It done did was buried up to the nose of it and the ass-end was half way gone too. I figured I would start it and try to gas it and shove at the same time. So I walked to the front and ....OH BOY... I was ass deep in the most horrible smelling, gushy, slime, leech infested shit water mud you could find.I have short legs, and I was going down in that stuff faster than I would ever want too.

One part i left out is kinda amazing too. Amys' cousin showed up as I'ma leaving. So I had him, his kid, and my two in the blazer. The kids was smart and stayed in the truck (wish I would of).But the funny thing is, is that here is Amy and myself just covered in the mud from the bad place and he is still clean as he was when he showed up... How the hell does that happen???

But anyways, I send him back to fetch the blazer and to just meet us back at the house, and I would get Amy and the 4-wheeler outta that hole.

Once we are back and trying to clean off, Jade comes up with that cute little grin she does and informs me that she was a bit nervous and PUKED all thru the back of my Blazer. So not only do I stink like POO and Amy along with the bike, now my Blazer has the blasting smell of puke!

So without a dought, the end to my day yesterday was interesting and a tad bit stinky!!!

Until the next time...

Big Man Out

Hi Ya'll out there where ever ya'll might be! I'ma tad bit burnt today, and no, not from the still rising gas prices. We went to a huge tractor show yesterday and the sun found my shoulders and my bald head!! And today was Daddy and boy day. Joe Joe and I went to a car show that really sucked. Hardly no cars??

But the sun burn is what we is gonna yap about today, or should I say the Fake-n-bake. Yes I have done did tried this, and no it did not turn out to good!! See, I'ma just a bit to big to fit in one of those ones that ya'll do. You know the kind ya lay down in. See, my shoulders stick out the sides of 'em. So I have to do the ones that ya stand up in. Now the one I did was owned by a girl that I went to school with and she talked this thing up like it was the best way to get tan fast. So I thought I would hop in it and try it. MISTAKE #1!!!! Now after I was talked into this here hot box, i was told that you want to try and tan evenly all over, in other words, do it nakid...MISTAKE # 2

Now, as ya'll are sitting there giggleing at me cuz ya think ya know what happen, ya'll just wait. See, this was my first time ever in that hot box. And listening to other people talk about it, I thought ya only went in for about 5 minutes or so, but she told me I had a good base going on already and to just go in for 15... Big MISTAKE # 3

So I walked myself in this thing , get nakid, and turn the dail to 15. I figured since I was trying to get an "even" tan, I should lift my arms up to get under them and kinda squat a bit to get the inside of my legs... NOT GOOD!!!

after the first 5 or so, I placed my hands on the back of my head locking my fingers behind it, and still doing a squat. What seemed to be forever the bell finally went off and it was done.

I got my self dressed and walked out feeling pretty good about it. Told the girls thanx and went on my way. But as I walked out that door I could hear some big time snickering. It seems that when you fake-n-bake, and have your hands on your head... ah yeah, ya'll know where I'ma going with this. I had two perfect white hand marks on the back of my head. Ya'll could count all the fingers and tell where my palms where!!!

But now comes the NAKID part. DONT EVER DO THAT GUYS!!!!! I burnt some things that should never see daylight. Ya'll wanna talk about hot dogs and roasted nuts.... OUCH!!

I done did had to walk funny for about three days! My ass will never EVER try anything like that again for as long as I live!

So learn for that huge MISTAKE, and dont try it guys, its not worth it!!!

I'ma gonna go and whine to myself about how my shoulders burn right now and how thankfull I am I was not NAKID!!!

Big Man Out