Vaseline Biker...

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses the woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word...! Next he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline.

And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes.

Big Man Out

Rat a tat tat...

This guys in bed with his wife when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half three in the morning. He thinks about getting the door for a moment and rolls back over.

Then, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and this guy is standing outside.

"Hey," says the stranger, "can you give us a push?"
"No, go to hell! It's half past three. I was in bed sound asleep," says the man and shuts the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Russel, you are such a twat! Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to go to hell? You should be ashamed!"

So after that tongue-lashing, he gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey fella, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah please, man."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"

The guy replies, "I'm over here...on the swings!"

Big Man Out

Spaghetti...

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.

He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

Older but not Wiser
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, shestops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to theclerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?""About 32," is the reply."Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girlthe very same question.The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."Now she's feeling really good about herself.

She stops in a drug storeon her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mintsand asks the clerk this burning question.The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting nextto her the same question.He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets thebest of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel aroundvery slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and hegently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs themagainst each other.After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old amI?"He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could youtell?"The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?""I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Big Man Out

I know , where I have I been. Everywhere and not a thing to show for it!!

But back to the final part of the show

DAY 9

These 2 gent want you to grow up to be something, and they prove that a good hearted woman can love some one like me...

and they are???

DAY 10

This is one of those bands who have went thru it all, but thru the years proved lifes a beach

DAY 11

This good ol' boy sold out a show in less than 43 seconds in 1999, the faster show sold EVER

DAY 12

With a lead vocie like his and the sound that the band came off with, you knew you was a flirtin with disaster

DAY 13

Who wants you to play that funky music???

and last but not least the last one of the challenage

DAY 14

Who are the "OLD DOGS"

Sorry this is a day late, but life can be nuts at time like you all know. I know its not the best of lines ya'll have heard but its the best I could come up with at the moment ha ha ha

Big Man Out

And back to the show

Day 6

These 2 brothers who make up 2 different bands want to get right with the man, but at the same time ain't nobody gonna tell em what to do...

Who are they??

Day 7

With a new LP out and now with a nightly radio show, this gent wants to welcome you to his nightmare, but the "he" has a "she" name

WHO is it???

Day 8

Now on with the harder and faster part of the music world, this band was "caught in a mosh" and was also one of the first to preform with a rap group. "Bring tha noize" Proved they was the man..

what disease are they???

Remember to send all answers to me at

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Big Man Out

Ok, OK I know, where was I... Welp, cant tell ya that!!

But here we go again

Day 3

In 2004, this good ol' boy had 50 Number ones, and to prove it, he released them all again...

Who is he???

Day 4

Now here is a girl who could be a guys worst nightmare. Between kerosene and gun powder and lead... she could be a crazy ex-girlfriend

And she would be???

Day 5

This kid is just a bit too cocky for his own good, and better yet, he wants to be a cowboy. But his style is not too known on the range!

Who is this punk???

Good luck and thanx for playing

Big Man Out

Day 2 of the 14

I guess if ya play , ya wanna know what ya get if ya win huh???

Welp, I guess I am gonna have to come up with something that ya would want that deals with the subject. I bet it would have to be something to do with music huh???

it will be....

So, lets get on with it.

This band showed and told us that no matter what, "The show must go on". Even after the lead singer Bit the dust, they still tour with another "Free" lead.

who is it??

Big Man Out

Ya know what... this here just took all the fun outta moving, ya know that!!! What is better than using that good ol' tape that can remove all the hair from a apes ass with a single swipe. Better yet, removing your buddys eyebrows while he is nappin in the corner!?!?

I know the pic is small, but I wanted to share a bit of art from my football winner. She took the time to "scrap" a page about Amy and I. The title of it is Cutlers Rock... right back at ya Melissa!!

Now, for the next 14 days, starting now, I am gonna ask Ya'll a few questions about the sound of music.

So, lets stop the bull and get it started!!!!

In 1973 this band started out with a brand new sound. It was not rock-n-roll, and it sure wasnt county. But for some odd reason they took off for the moon. Thru out the years they have had heartache and tragedy. With a plane crash and a band melt down, and some leaving and other asked to leave, they have made it 30+ years and are still going on strong...

Who am I looking for??

Like before, e-mail me who ya think it is at

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Thanx for playing

Big Man Out

Hey out there, what the hell is going on? Not too much around here. Still doing all the running with the kids to here and there and working(come on snow), but other than that, not too much new.

Here is a scary pic for Ya'll. I figured since its October, what the hell right??

I'ma about ready to start posting about music here soon. I think I just might start this weekend some time. But I think i might only go for a 2 week challenage... How does that sound to Ya'll??

14 days of mixed questions. Sounds like a plan!!!

So if ya are interested, stay tuned for more info!!!

Big Man Out

OK, I'll have to start by saying sorry, I have been M.I.A. since I got my self back to work. I am gonna try my best to push myself back here to keep ya all up on the going ons that go on ..... Did that make sence???

But anyways, most of ya keep up with Amys, so ya know whats going on with Joe Joes foot. Well today he is gonna try playing. I think he is gonna do alright. I'll have to fill ya all in later on tonight on it.

Heres one thing to keep in mind. I am gonna do another fun filled challenage on here. This time its gonna be all about music, and all different kinds. New, old, rock, country, emo, metal, you name it. There will be questions for all kinds

So untill later

Big Man Out

Just so Ya'll know, yes this is the right site. I got bored and changed it a bit. Still might add more in days to come...

Big Man Out

A koala was sitting in a gum tree......

smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up, and said, 'Hey, Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up, and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up, and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while, the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry,' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over, and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this, and swam over to the little lizard, and helped him to the side. ;Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out, and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up, and said, 'Hey you!' So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiitt, dude..... How much water did you drink?!

Thanx Aunt Vi....

Big Man Out

Its Friday, what more can I say. I spent the day runnin around by myself and it was different, nice, but different.
To My winners out there, keep your eye on ya mailbox within the week, it was sent out today. Make sure ya stop in and let us all know what ya think of it.I think I was fair on how it was (the prize that is).
Welp, this here is gonna be my last free week of the summer, back to the real world and getting ready for the snow to fly. Yes, I done did said SNOW. I have to have snow for work , and the sooner and heavier the better!!! I plow in the winter time(as if ya didnt know)
Poor Joey and his luck with 4-wheelers. Thats half the reason I was out today. And come to think of it, it always has to do with going backwards. But this time, the shop has to fix it due to being smart and gettin a damn warrenty on it. I aint gettin shit on again like we did before!! So now the little dude is out of the ridin till we get it back, and I guess that could take up to a week or so.
Oh, and while I was out, I was looking at add-ons for the truck.... I'ma gonna be broke by the time I'm done with it!!! Who knew that there was so much stuff ya could buy for just one little ol' truck...( a very evil grin )

Well, the family should be walking in soon so I am gonna jump off here...

Ya'll take care, untill next time

Big Man Out

Meet Yoda, a household pet born with an extra pair of ears.

Chicago, Illinois, couple Valerie and Ted Rock took the cat in two years ago after they visited a local bar, where a group of drinkers were handing the animal around and making fun of him.

Since being adopted by the Rocks and after getting his picture posted on the Internet, the two-year-old feline has become an international media celebrity.

The Rocks have received calls from Good Morning America, Fox News and The Tyra Banks Show. The moggy's mugshot has graced the pages of the London Guardian and British tabloids.

Despite his strange appearance, Yoda - named after the pointy-eared Star Wars character (pictured below) - is a perfectly normal and affectionate cat and a delight to have around.His extra ears are thought to be the result of a genetic mutation.But Yoda's owners are keeping a close watch on their much-loved pet.

They are concerned he could be catnapped because he is so different.

Big Man Out

There are 7 words one never wants to hear on a long trip, do ya know what they are? Welp, I'ma gonna tell ya...

First 4 are...

"Are We There Yet"

and

"How Much Longer"

I think I am gonna put a counter in the truck the next time just so I can see how many times those 7 words are said. It had to be close to 100 times, and that was even before the New York State line. Lord only knows how many times after we crossed it.

And another thing that really got to me this holiday weekend drive..."Stupid People"! I know us "truckers" have a bad rep when it comes to the highways and from all I seen this here weekend its no wonder. Hell, one truck had a hole in the tire so big that I could of put my head in it. It was about to come off at anytime. But I do have to say that was about the only dumb ass trucker I seen. No, who I am talking about are those ones who think they better fly to get ahead of everyone due to road work. Ya know the kind I'ma a talking about. You see a sign that says in big ol' bold letters...

"WORK ZONE 2 MILES AHEAD"

So, what do they all do, fly past ya and cause one hell of a bottle neck jam.If ya dont have a flashing red light on top your car or truck, get your ass over in the open lane and ride it out.

And another thing, if I let ya in, ya best say thanx or at least wave, cuz if ya dont, I'll get ya back up the road one way or another. I find it kinda amazing what a big ol', spit soaked, half a can of fresh "Cope" looks like on the front of a windshield going about 80 down the interstate looks like!!!

Big Man Out

Welp...

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

Congrats to Melissa & Dave.

They done did blew the comp out of the water. With a lead of over 19 scores and 2 extra field goals, they stole the show!!!

So, Mellisa & Dave, ya know where to send your address to, and by saturday, it will be in the mail. Along with your addy, I need to know what team ya would prefer... Ya know what ya would get if I pick it...HAHA

Big Man Out

Well, here we are at the end of the month almost. I just want to take time to thank ya'll who played along and those who just stopped in to look around. The winners will be announced on Monday, September 1st.

As far as me blogging, I wont be untill that Monday. The family and myself are off to New York due to a sick grand-parent.

And a few of you out there will be happy to know I will be getting back to my wacky stories and tales. I have a few good ones in mind about my self and yes.... Amy(so sorry)(HA HA HA NOT)

So untill then Ya'll be safe and have a great Holiday weekend

Big Man Out

I knew it was gonna happen. All the things going on around here and I forgot a day!!!So, this is what I am gonna do about it.

This is going to be the last post I do on the football challenage. The winner will be told on the first of the month.

here we go...

Day 25

Before it was known as the NFL, what was it called in the begining??

Day26

The Pac havent had a top pick in the draft(entering 2007) since 1959, what player did they choose number one over all that year??

Day 27

Who has the most Championships and how many??

Day28

How many NFL teams are there??

Day 29

who is the Commish of the NFL today???

Day 30

Who holds the most records at the Bears field??

And last but not least.

Day 31

This Commish is the only one who replaced someone in death, who is he???

Big Man Out

This is so true

Big Man Out