Sorry about the begining of that last post... It was to say the truth will set you free. I have no clue on how it ended up clear down on the bottom like that. As my luck would have it...... its just another screw up that I seem to be able to do so well.

But I do think I have hit a personal all time low in my lfe. For once I thought I was doing good. Keeping everything in check... guess not. About the only noise I hear is the fan in the tower right now.

Earlier I was able to look across the front hall and see her sleep. I thought of all we have been thru and the stupid things that we put each other thru. Then I thought of the last 11 years. Just like everything eles and everyonr eles... there have been good, bad, rotten and pure bliss. But ya know what..... I wouldnt give it up for nothing. It could all end today and I wouldnt have a bad thing to say about it.

Amy I do try... I try just for you.

Big Man Out

They say the truth will s....... BULLSHIT! Its a sad ass day when one tells it like it is and it still bites you in the butt! I'm no angel, but I do try to keep a straight and narrow line in life. I've been wrong, done wrong and have tried to do my best to make it all right. But some days it seems no matter how or what it is I do......... its never right or good enough.

Maybe thats not the right way to feel or how to act on it, but when you try so hard and then you are doughied... it hurts.

We all do this and it will be done till i am dead and gone. Whats that you ask.... Bring up the past. First thrown at me , then thrown back. Should it be done ... not at all. Cause after you do it and think of how stupid it was, its way too late. The damage is done and soaking in for the next time. But what can you do about it? Really nothing I guess.

So why am I telling this to who ever is out there.... To try to stop you before you do it. or at least make you think before you do it again.

If you and your other half is trying to start over and make things work, put a little trust out there for them before its too late. The pain that is causes is not worth the years of heartache its going to create.

And if you dont think you are going to be able to trust some one again, just come right out and tell them. Dont hide fasle feelings. Dont go looking to find faults. We all know that no one is perfect and we all have things we have done wrong. Starting today I am going to do my best to let the past be the past. There is not one damn thing I can do about it and I sure as hell cant go back in time and change anything. But one thing I have been doing is "trying" to look forward. some days its so easy to do and others I wonder if there will be one.

I guess what it comes down to is true love. If you have it, your going to do great things even after the bumps in the road. If you dont, the ride could be a rocky one.

So if "you" ever read this.... I'm sorry.

I told you the complete truth and was all open and honest. I hid nothing and refuse to since we agreed to work this marriage out.

and for the rest of you... live life to the fullest. Dont let money or other people bring you down. All things come to those who have the time to wait. And trust a little...... its not hard.et you free

Big Man Out