Strange Facts

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33

Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts-Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game.

Big Man Out

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend... so get yourself a dog."

Big Man Out

Hey ya'll, here is a brain teaser for ya all...

In 1959, Packers team president Dominic Olejniczak phones George Halas to ask what he knew about a Giants' assistant. Halas admitted the Bears would be in trouble if Green Bay Hired...

Who??

This one dont count to the game, I just wanna see how smart ya all are !!!!

Let me know who you think it is

Big Man Out

What you are seeing here, is what can happen when a cat gets way too close to someone I know shoes! But I'ma not gonna mention any names...

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the BestPatients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them Up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best, everything inside them is inalphabetical Order

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I Like construction workers... Those guys always understand whenyou Have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up When he observed : 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiestto Operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and No spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable

Big Man Out

URINE TEST

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their A*S, doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

What ya'll just read was something that was just e-mailed to me and made me think. I dont know about ya'll out there, but this here makes alot of sense to me. And, I feel it is so true.

If YA'll feel the same way, cut and paste it and send it on its way around the states, maybe then someone just might get the idea that it IS a good idea to do!!!

Big Man Out

It seems that life goes by resembling somewhat of a bell curve of what is considered successful... so here is a few milestones that we pass and hope to pass Thru-out the years

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.

At age 10...success is...making your own meals
.
At age 12...success is...having friends.

At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 20...success is...having sex.

At age 35...success is...having money.

At age 50...success is...having money.

At age 60...success is...having sex.

At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 75...success is...having friends.

At age 80...success is...making your own meals.

At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.

Now, for those of you who don't think you are up for the football challenge, here's a couple things to keep in mind. It could be about anything that has to do with football, players, Fields, the ball itself, hell, maybe even a cheerleader.

I am going to keep it on the pro level, ya know, the NFL. So that may help a few out. And it don't matter how smarts ya are about it, its just the idea of trying and having fun, like the game!!

If Y'all have any questions about it feel free to e-mail me before it starts. So until then I hope ya enjoy the little jokes and stories I pass along

Big Man Out

I think in the spiret of the up coming football season, I am going to try something. I know that this here blog don't see to many people, and not to many do read or stop in, but anyways, I'ma gonna see how y'all are at football smarts.

Starting August first, I'ma gonna have a question of the day. And I'ma gonna try my best to do this every day. Those who can e-mail me the right answer, and who has the most right by the end of the season, will get something related to there team of choice.

Ya'll will be able to e-mail me at...

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Good luck to anyone who tries!!

Big Man Out

Quotes About Beer

A collection of great quotes about beer and why we love it:

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

-- Babe Ruth

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-- Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

-- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.

-- H.L. Mencken

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! -- George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

-- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

-- Dave Barry

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.

-- W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

-- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!

-- Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Big Man Out

Dating My Daughter
When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend’s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter’s chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.

Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter’s suitors feel even worse. My motto: wilt them in the living room and they’ll stay wilted all night.
“So,” I’ll call out jovially. “I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you’re stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?”
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

Rule One - If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up.

Rule Two - You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three - I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

Rule Four - I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

Rule Five - In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six - I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.

Rule Seven - As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight - The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.

Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO

10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.

9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.

8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill.

7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day".

6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.

4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.

3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".

1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's

YA'll wanna know what pisses me off?... Welp, too bad I'ma gonna tell ya anyways!

Its how all these big companies can shove its customers around and keep getting away with it. I find it really hard to swallow when they say on the tube that gas will go up to a price by this date and I'll be damned... IT DOES!!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!

What the hell are we gonna do when the say the cost of food is gonna sky rocket this fall? Tell Ya'll what I'ma planning on doing, Ya know those we put into office year after year, Ya know they can be voted out to don't ya. Starting next Monday, I'ma gonna find the phone numbers of those in my area and voice my opinoin. Will it do any good, not if I'm alone on it.

If Ya'll start at the same time, calling, writing, e-mailing, the whole 9 yards I bet we start getting somewhere. Don't just sit there thinking of what to do, DO IT

Remind those in office of how they got there and just how many are trying to get in behind them.I know that there is some of ya'll out there that the cost of fuel and food may not hurt ya, but think of the rest of States. It is gonna take every single person and voice out there to make a huge dent in this mess that they are putting ya'll in, includeing myself!!

As ya'll know, I had to keep my ass at home due to the rising cost of life this summer, no vacation for my family this year. And that really gets to me. I anit nothing but a simple man, I dont ask for much if anything, and I'ma the first to help out those who are less forcanet. And here I am having to keep all up on this mountain while those bastards sit and get richer by the day. I've done did had enough!!

So, if ya'll would, stand up with me starting monday and lets put one hell of a bug up some asses to get what we deserve!!!!

Big Man Out