Older but not Wiser
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, shestops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to theclerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?""About 32," is the reply."Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girlthe very same question.The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."Now she's feeling really good about herself.

She stops in a drug storeon her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mintsand asks the clerk this burning question.The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting nextto her the same question.He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets thebest of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel aroundvery slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and hegently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs themagainst each other.After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old amI?"He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could youtell?"The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?""I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Big Man Out

I know , where I have I been. Everywhere and not a thing to show for it!!

But back to the final part of the show

DAY 9

These 2 gent want you to grow up to be something, and they prove that a good hearted woman can love some one like me...

and they are???

DAY 10

This is one of those bands who have went thru it all, but thru the years proved lifes a beach

DAY 11

This good ol' boy sold out a show in less than 43 seconds in 1999, the faster show sold EVER

DAY 12

With a lead vocie like his and the sound that the band came off with, you knew you was a flirtin with disaster

DAY 13

Who wants you to play that funky music???

and last but not least the last one of the challenage

DAY 14

Who are the "OLD DOGS"

Sorry this is a day late, but life can be nuts at time like you all know. I know its not the best of lines ya'll have heard but its the best I could come up with at the moment ha ha ha

Big Man Out

And back to the show

Day 6

These 2 brothers who make up 2 different bands want to get right with the man, but at the same time ain't nobody gonna tell em what to do...

Who are they??

Day 7

With a new LP out and now with a nightly radio show, this gent wants to welcome you to his nightmare, but the "he" has a "she" name

WHO is it???

Day 8

Now on with the harder and faster part of the music world, this band was "caught in a mosh" and was also one of the first to preform with a rap group. "Bring tha noize" Proved they was the man..

what disease are they???

Remember to send all answers to me at

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Big Man Out

Ok, OK I know, where was I... Welp, cant tell ya that!!

But here we go again

Day 3

In 2004, this good ol' boy had 50 Number ones, and to prove it, he released them all again...

Who is he???

Day 4

Now here is a girl who could be a guys worst nightmare. Between kerosene and gun powder and lead... she could be a crazy ex-girlfriend

And she would be???

Day 5

This kid is just a bit too cocky for his own good, and better yet, he wants to be a cowboy. But his style is not too known on the range!

Who is this punk???

Good luck and thanx for playing

Big Man Out

Day 2 of the 14

I guess if ya play , ya wanna know what ya get if ya win huh???

Welp, I guess I am gonna have to come up with something that ya would want that deals with the subject. I bet it would have to be something to do with music huh???

it will be....

So, lets get on with it.

This band showed and told us that no matter what, "The show must go on". Even after the lead singer Bit the dust, they still tour with another "Free" lead.

who is it??

Big Man Out

Ya know what... this here just took all the fun outta moving, ya know that!!! What is better than using that good ol' tape that can remove all the hair from a apes ass with a single swipe. Better yet, removing your buddys eyebrows while he is nappin in the corner!?!?

I know the pic is small, but I wanted to share a bit of art from my football winner. She took the time to "scrap" a page about Amy and I. The title of it is Cutlers Rock... right back at ya Melissa!!

Now, for the next 14 days, starting now, I am gonna ask Ya'll a few questions about the sound of music.

So, lets stop the bull and get it started!!!!

In 1973 this band started out with a brand new sound. It was not rock-n-roll, and it sure wasnt county. But for some odd reason they took off for the moon. Thru out the years they have had heartache and tragedy. With a plane crash and a band melt down, and some leaving and other asked to leave, they have made it 30+ years and are still going on strong...

Who am I looking for??

Like before, e-mail me who ya think it is at

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Thanx for playing

Big Man Out

Hey out there, what the hell is going on? Not too much around here. Still doing all the running with the kids to here and there and working(come on snow), but other than that, not too much new.

Here is a scary pic for Ya'll. I figured since its October, what the hell right??

I'ma about ready to start posting about music here soon. I think I just might start this weekend some time. But I think i might only go for a 2 week challenage... How does that sound to Ya'll??

14 days of mixed questions. Sounds like a plan!!!

So if ya are interested, stay tuned for more info!!!

Big Man Out

OK, I'll have to start by saying sorry, I have been M.I.A. since I got my self back to work. I am gonna try my best to push myself back here to keep ya all up on the going ons that go on ..... Did that make sence???

But anyways, most of ya keep up with Amys, so ya know whats going on with Joe Joes foot. Well today he is gonna try playing. I think he is gonna do alright. I'll have to fill ya all in later on tonight on it.

Heres one thing to keep in mind. I am gonna do another fun filled challenage on here. This time its gonna be all about music, and all different kinds. New, old, rock, country, emo, metal, you name it. There will be questions for all kinds

So untill later

Big Man Out

Just so Ya'll know, yes this is the right site. I got bored and changed it a bit. Still might add more in days to come...

Big Man Out

A koala was sitting in a gum tree......

smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up, and said, 'Hey, Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up, and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up, and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while, the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry,' and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over, and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this, and swam over to the little lizard, and helped him to the side. ;Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?' The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out, and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up, and said, 'Hey you!' So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiitt, dude..... How much water did you drink?!

Thanx Aunt Vi....

Big Man Out

Its Friday, what more can I say. I spent the day runnin around by myself and it was different, nice, but different.
To My winners out there, keep your eye on ya mailbox within the week, it was sent out today. Make sure ya stop in and let us all know what ya think of it.I think I was fair on how it was (the prize that is).
Welp, this here is gonna be my last free week of the summer, back to the real world and getting ready for the snow to fly. Yes, I done did said SNOW. I have to have snow for work , and the sooner and heavier the better!!! I plow in the winter time(as if ya didnt know)
Poor Joey and his luck with 4-wheelers. Thats half the reason I was out today. And come to think of it, it always has to do with going backwards. But this time, the shop has to fix it due to being smart and gettin a damn warrenty on it. I aint gettin shit on again like we did before!! So now the little dude is out of the ridin till we get it back, and I guess that could take up to a week or so.
Oh, and while I was out, I was looking at add-ons for the truck.... I'ma gonna be broke by the time I'm done with it!!! Who knew that there was so much stuff ya could buy for just one little ol' truck...( a very evil grin )

Well, the family should be walking in soon so I am gonna jump off here...

Ya'll take care, untill next time

Big Man Out

Meet Yoda, a household pet born with an extra pair of ears.

Chicago, Illinois, couple Valerie and Ted Rock took the cat in two years ago after they visited a local bar, where a group of drinkers were handing the animal around and making fun of him.

Since being adopted by the Rocks and after getting his picture posted on the Internet, the two-year-old feline has become an international media celebrity.

The Rocks have received calls from Good Morning America, Fox News and The Tyra Banks Show. The moggy's mugshot has graced the pages of the London Guardian and British tabloids.

Despite his strange appearance, Yoda - named after the pointy-eared Star Wars character (pictured below) - is a perfectly normal and affectionate cat and a delight to have around.His extra ears are thought to be the result of a genetic mutation.But Yoda's owners are keeping a close watch on their much-loved pet.

They are concerned he could be catnapped because he is so different.

Big Man Out

There are 7 words one never wants to hear on a long trip, do ya know what they are? Welp, I'ma gonna tell ya...

First 4 are...

"Are We There Yet"

and

"How Much Longer"

I think I am gonna put a counter in the truck the next time just so I can see how many times those 7 words are said. It had to be close to 100 times, and that was even before the New York State line. Lord only knows how many times after we crossed it.

And another thing that really got to me this holiday weekend drive..."Stupid People"! I know us "truckers" have a bad rep when it comes to the highways and from all I seen this here weekend its no wonder. Hell, one truck had a hole in the tire so big that I could of put my head in it. It was about to come off at anytime. But I do have to say that was about the only dumb ass trucker I seen. No, who I am talking about are those ones who think they better fly to get ahead of everyone due to road work. Ya know the kind I'ma a talking about. You see a sign that says in big ol' bold letters...

"WORK ZONE 2 MILES AHEAD"

So, what do they all do, fly past ya and cause one hell of a bottle neck jam.If ya dont have a flashing red light on top your car or truck, get your ass over in the open lane and ride it out.

And another thing, if I let ya in, ya best say thanx or at least wave, cuz if ya dont, I'll get ya back up the road one way or another. I find it kinda amazing what a big ol', spit soaked, half a can of fresh "Cope" looks like on the front of a windshield going about 80 down the interstate looks like!!!

Big Man Out

Welp...

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

Congrats to Melissa & Dave.

They done did blew the comp out of the water. With a lead of over 19 scores and 2 extra field goals, they stole the show!!!

So, Mellisa & Dave, ya know where to send your address to, and by saturday, it will be in the mail. Along with your addy, I need to know what team ya would prefer... Ya know what ya would get if I pick it...HAHA

Big Man Out

Well, here we are at the end of the month almost. I just want to take time to thank ya'll who played along and those who just stopped in to look around. The winners will be announced on Monday, September 1st.

As far as me blogging, I wont be untill that Monday. The family and myself are off to New York due to a sick grand-parent.

And a few of you out there will be happy to know I will be getting back to my wacky stories and tales. I have a few good ones in mind about my self and yes.... Amy(so sorry)(HA HA HA NOT)

So untill then Ya'll be safe and have a great Holiday weekend

Big Man Out

I knew it was gonna happen. All the things going on around here and I forgot a day!!!So, this is what I am gonna do about it.

This is going to be the last post I do on the football challenage. The winner will be told on the first of the month.

here we go...

Day 25

Before it was known as the NFL, what was it called in the begining??

Day26

The Pac havent had a top pick in the draft(entering 2007) since 1959, what player did they choose number one over all that year??

Day 27

Who has the most Championships and how many??

Day28

How many NFL teams are there??

Day 29

who is the Commish of the NFL today???

Day 30

Who holds the most records at the Bears field??

And last but not least.

Day 31

This Commish is the only one who replaced someone in death, who is he???

Big Man Out

This is so true

Big Man Out

I hope Ya'll are able to read this , if not let me know and I will print it out

Big Man Out

Well lemme tell ya, life is a bit hectic around here at the moment, between family issues and Jades cat (he ate rat poison), its nuts around here!!

So this here is what i am gonna do...

3 days in one.

are ya ready...

Day 22

What does NFLPA stand for???

Day 23

What is the CBA???

Day 24

Internet radio can play the NFL games, but what 2 Broadcasts are they not allowed too???

Sorry for the mess, but at least this way I can tend to the cat and Jade. And I also dont make ya all miss any days of this

Big Man Out

OK, I feel a bit lazy today, so this is gonna be quick and easy.

Day 21

(only 10 days left)

The Packers found this future Pro Football Hall of Fame offensive lineman in the seventh round of the 1953 draft...

who was he???

Big Man Out

There was 11 teams when the NFL was founded, only 11. Aint that something. And to think, most of us can only pick one, maybe two teams to like.

For day 20, what year did the NFL start up in???

In the NFL, players wear uniform numbers based on the position they play.

The current system was instituted into the league on April 5, 1973, as a means for fans and officials (referees, linesmen) to more easily identify players on the field by their position. Players who were already in the league at that date were grandfathered, and did not have to change their uniform numbers if they did not conform.

Since that date, players are invariably assigned numbers within the following ranges, based on their primary position:

Quarterbacks, placekickers and punters: 0–0
Wide Receivers: 0-0, or 0-0 if all are taken
Running backs and defensive backs: 0–0
Offensive linemen: 0–0
Linebackers: 0–0 and 0–0, or 0-0 if all are taken
Defensive linemen: 0–0 and 0–0
Tight ends: 0–0, or 0–0 if all are taken

I know what ya all are thinking, ya'll is thinking, "Big Man, ya is nuts if ya think we know all that", but if ya can give me the answer to half of them , I'll give ya a full score, if ya get them all, I'll give ya 2 scores....

All ya gotta do is fill in the 0's

Big Man Out

After trying to get the cheerleaders off the field, we had one who just seemed to be tripping her self on those white lines that mark the field in 1 yard intervals...

We have no clue on how she was doing this, even after watching the replay about 15 times.

So, for day 18, what do ya call those 1 yard white lines???

Big Man Out

DAY 17

And it seems the cheerleaders dont wanna leave the field yet...

Looks like we have a "Raiderett" that is trying to steal the show a bit here. She had a stint on the MTV show "the real world" (Season 18) and wants to try to get more of the lime light...

Just who is she???

Big Man Out

Wow...

Day 16, so I guess you could call today the halftime.

And just what do ya see during the halftime show...

Cheerleaders silly!

Not all the NFL teams have them, and a few did but got rid of em. So today is a 2 part question that needs 2 answers to score...

Who was the first team to introduce the concept of cheerleaders to NFL football, and in what year did this happen.

Big Man Out

I am gonna try to take a new twist on this. Since we are at the half way point, I am gonna change it up a bit for today.

I just cant believe that we are on day 15 already.But It seems the answer have stopped at day11. So that means if you go back and do 11,12,13,14, and today the 15th day, one could steal the lead or, the leader could have a 9 score lead....

OK, see that guy there. He done did is kinda mean looking! I want ya to tell me who he is, and what team did he play for? To give Ya'll a few hints, he was in the WCW and the WWE.

Big Man Out

Take a good look at this here Pic I found. YA'll tell me this, are they twins that were seperated at birth...

I know, I know... That was mean...

But funny as hell!!!

Big Man Out

Any more, no matter what you seem to watch, Ya'll will see a romance in the making or in the ending.

In the good ol' spot of football, its no diffferent.

In a mag coming out soon, or it might already be, Carrie Underwood was talking football and this is what she had to say...

We were both small town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame. I don't know. The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer."

Just who is she talking about???

Big Man Out

Here is some words of thought for Ya'll. Ya never know, it may come in handy some day. And if ya really think about them.... they sure are true!!!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong
lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now .

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

As alot of Ya'll know, I had a bit of bad luck going on with anything that had a motor in it a bit ago. Now with the new truck and all, I feel pretty good.

Ya know the same can be said about football too...

After a $185 million renovation of a historic stadium, this team returned for the 2006 season. The team played its 2006 home opener in front of a sold-out crowd and national television audience...

Who was it??

the game was on September 25

Big Man Out

I would like to start today off with saying

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY"

I hope your day is good and all goes well for ya babe!!!

Now on to day 12.

Staying with the nickname part of it all. Some are good and some are strange. One team out there has had one that sounds kinda sick if ya ask me, its "Gang Green".

Can ya tell me what NFL team it is???

This is the pics of the new addition to the family...

What ya think???

Big Man Out

Bernie Mac Passes on...

What a great loss for comedy today.

And Isaac Hayes...

Another great loss for the music world

In the world of sports, its just like human life, some times a person gets a lable for some thing they do or say, or a way they may act. A nickname can hang on for years if not for life, I should know that all to well. As some of you may know, I am known as "Tank". And the funny thing is, is that was a name giving to me during football tryouts in the 6th grade. I done did hit the coach and other players so hard , they would say it was like being ran over by a "Tank". And many years later, the name still sticks on. The funny fact about that is most people never know my real name. I guess thats not really a bad thing though....

The New York Giants are the same way, but unlike me, they have more than One (1) nickname. The thing I want to know is ...

What are the nicknames of the Champs... Ya'll only have to list 3 of the 5

Big Man Out

welp, Its been a busy weekend for me so far and as ya'll can see, I fell a day behind. But what I am gonna do is have day 9 and 10 right now.

This is the question for day 9...

In 1998, the Packers moved up 10 spots in the 1st round by trading with ...

who?

And now this is for day 10...

In the same year, what defensive lineman did they choose with the 19th overall pick??

Good luck

Big Man Out

Oh , its finally friday!!!

I do have some great news to report from the home front, after all the problems we have had up here on this here mountain with anything that has a motor...

I got a new truck!!!

And Lemme tell ya, she sure is pretty. Its a steel blue color, 4x4, quad-cab Chevy...

And its MINE ALL MINE

(thanks again Amy)

(LOVE YA LONG TIME)

And since I am in such a good mood today, I am going to make day 8 kinda easy. Staying with the field subject, I want to know...

Just how big are those goal posts at the ends of the field. Ya'll should have 3 sets of numbers for this one. The width, total higth, and from the ground. That should be a big help to some

I'm off to add miles to the new girl

Big Man Out

It's Official: Favre Traded to Jets

I say they just made a huge ass and dumb mistake...

And to tell ya the truth I would like to see the Jets this year take it all, or at least do better than the Pac (and I'm even a Pac Fan)

Ok, enough about that, all its gonna do is piss me off more, lets get on with day 7. And by the way no one even tried day 6 so the game is at a stand still, but with a leader.

Ok, today I want to know about the field, we all know its 100 yards long, but just how wide is it. and to get a TD on this one, the answer has to be right on the dot....

Big Man out

Can ya'll believe this mess going on with Farve? I think the Pac is going to end up making a huge mistake in the end of this all. I done did think its nuts!!!

But any ways, lets get back to the ball game. And what a ball game its turning out to be. Like I said last night we have a leader now, but there is someone who lurks in the back, not to far behind in point that could come back within a 2 day score.

With that said, lets move into day 6 and see if I can finally stump the leader(who is doing Great).

Today I am looking for a team who has come in second in most valuable franchise in the NFL. And also, they have broken the NFL's mark for single-season attendance six years in a row.

Who do ya'll think it is???

And just as a reminder, anyone can jump into the game at any point, but to have your score add up and count you must answer all from day one to the day you started.

And send your answers in to me at

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Big Man out

EXTRA EXTRA

READ ALL ABOUT IT...

We Now have a leader in the game! With 5 complted TD's!!!

Can any one come back in days to come with an upset???

Stay tuned for futher highlights

Big Man Out

I done do believe we have a tie in the works going on here. As I looked last night, I had one teamer who had went back and got all 4, plus the teaser question.And by the way, I loved how it was answered, and ya was damn right about it!!!!

OK, I don't know what most of you think about the Packers (the best damn team EVER), and whats going on with Brett Farve (the best damn QB), but I'm getting a bit pissed about how the media is playing him off. Yes I know he might be getting up there in age for football, but i don't see any other QB's doing what he can!!!

So with staying with the best team EVER( Yes it is)(quit rolling your eyes)(I seen that), I am gonna go back a few years, 1944 in fact.

7 different Packer players rushed for more than 100 yards, but Ted Fritsch led that "Championship" squad (he was the fullback) with how many yards that year?

Thanx for playing y'all

Big Man Out

Ok , this is the score so far, I have one person who has the answers right for day 1 and 2, no one has tried 3 yet.

So now we are on day 4. I thought this time I would go back into the 70's. OH those was the years. Free love, Peace, Rock-n-Roll, long hair, and lets not forget the "Steel Curtain"...

I know the curtain was up a couple good years, but I am looking for the 4 most famed players. So if Ya'll are up to it... lemme know who ya think they was.

And by the way, did Ya'll hear the semi-good news?

Is the Pac back???

Is Farve gonna play???

Is he gonna be the starting QB???

Cant tell I'ma Packers fan can ya...HA HA

Big Man Out

Whats up Ya'll? Its looking like we are gonna have a game now, a few people got there answers in, a couple of em' was right and a couple of em' was so close it hurt. But hey , if ya get it wrong, thats ok, Ya'll can keep on trying!

Keep one thing in mind, send your answers to me at...

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Now, here Ya'll go for day 3...

We done did talked about a player, and then the ball, now lets talk about the field a bit.

I wanna know, just how many lines are on the field that divide the field up in 5 yard segments???

Good luck to Ya'll

Big Man Out

OK, It looks to me that I might of started this off on a hard note. So what I am gonna do is go back to when football was a real hard hitting sport.

YA'll know what it looked like back in the day, hardly no pads, the helmets looked like just hunks of leather on top of their heads. And the men didn't look like they was all on some muscle juice.

The fields looked to be all rough and rocky, the players looked as if they was about to pass out from the game...

What I want to know is...

what was the first "footballs" made out of???

Big Man Out

I can see that a few of ya'll looked, but no one had the balls to take a wild guess? What happened, did I make it too hard??

Ok I'll give ya the year...

it was 1992

now what team did he come from???

Big Man Out

Welp, here we are, August 1st!

YA know what that means dont ya. Lets see how much ya'll know about the NFL, Past, present, and all in-between.

On your mark...

Get set...

GO!!!

From what team and what year did the Green bay Packers obtain quarterback Brett Favre for a first-round draft choice???

E-mail ya'lls answers to me at...

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Good luck to all

Big Man Out

Strange Facts

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33

Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts-Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game.

Big Man Out

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend... so get yourself a dog."

Big Man Out

Hey ya'll, here is a brain teaser for ya all...

In 1959, Packers team president Dominic Olejniczak phones George Halas to ask what he knew about a Giants' assistant. Halas admitted the Bears would be in trouble if Green Bay Hired...

Who??

This one dont count to the game, I just wanna see how smart ya all are !!!!

Let me know who you think it is

Big Man Out

What you are seeing here, is what can happen when a cat gets way too close to someone I know shoes! But I'ma not gonna mention any names...

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the BestPatients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them Up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best, everything inside them is inalphabetical Order

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I Like construction workers... Those guys always understand whenyou Have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up When he observed : 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiestto Operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and No spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable

Big Man Out

URINE TEST

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their A*S, doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

What ya'll just read was something that was just e-mailed to me and made me think. I dont know about ya'll out there, but this here makes alot of sense to me. And, I feel it is so true.

If YA'll feel the same way, cut and paste it and send it on its way around the states, maybe then someone just might get the idea that it IS a good idea to do!!!

Big Man Out

It seems that life goes by resembling somewhat of a bell curve of what is considered successful... so here is a few milestones that we pass and hope to pass Thru-out the years

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.

At age 10...success is...making your own meals
.
At age 12...success is...having friends.

At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 20...success is...having sex.

At age 35...success is...having money.

At age 50...success is...having money.

At age 60...success is...having sex.

At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 75...success is...having friends.

At age 80...success is...making your own meals.

At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.

Now, for those of you who don't think you are up for the football challenge, here's a couple things to keep in mind. It could be about anything that has to do with football, players, Fields, the ball itself, hell, maybe even a cheerleader.

I am going to keep it on the pro level, ya know, the NFL. So that may help a few out. And it don't matter how smarts ya are about it, its just the idea of trying and having fun, like the game!!

If Y'all have any questions about it feel free to e-mail me before it starts. So until then I hope ya enjoy the little jokes and stories I pass along

Big Man Out

I think in the spiret of the up coming football season, I am going to try something. I know that this here blog don't see to many people, and not to many do read or stop in, but anyways, I'ma gonna see how y'all are at football smarts.

Starting August first, I'ma gonna have a question of the day. And I'ma gonna try my best to do this every day. Those who can e-mail me the right answer, and who has the most right by the end of the season, will get something related to there team of choice.

Ya'll will be able to e-mail me at...

widowmakertank@yahoo.com

Good luck to anyone who tries!!

Big Man Out

Quotes About Beer

A collection of great quotes about beer and why we love it:

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

-- Babe Ruth

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-- Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

-- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.

-- H.L. Mencken

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! -- George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

-- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

-- Dave Barry

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.

-- W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

-- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!

-- Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Big Man Out

Dating My Daughter
When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend’s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter’s chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.

Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter’s suitors feel even worse. My motto: wilt them in the living room and they’ll stay wilted all night.
“So,” I’ll call out jovially. “I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you’re stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?”
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

Rule One - If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up.

Rule Two - You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three - I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

Rule Four - I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

Rule Five - In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six - I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.

Rule Seven - As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight - The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.

Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO

10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.

9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.

8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill.

7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day".

6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.

4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.

3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".

1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's

YA'll wanna know what pisses me off?... Welp, too bad I'ma gonna tell ya anyways!

Its how all these big companies can shove its customers around and keep getting away with it. I find it really hard to swallow when they say on the tube that gas will go up to a price by this date and I'll be damned... IT DOES!!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!

What the hell are we gonna do when the say the cost of food is gonna sky rocket this fall? Tell Ya'll what I'ma planning on doing, Ya know those we put into office year after year, Ya know they can be voted out to don't ya. Starting next Monday, I'ma gonna find the phone numbers of those in my area and voice my opinoin. Will it do any good, not if I'm alone on it.

If Ya'll start at the same time, calling, writing, e-mailing, the whole 9 yards I bet we start getting somewhere. Don't just sit there thinking of what to do, DO IT

Remind those in office of how they got there and just how many are trying to get in behind them.I know that there is some of ya'll out there that the cost of fuel and food may not hurt ya, but think of the rest of States. It is gonna take every single person and voice out there to make a huge dent in this mess that they are putting ya'll in, includeing myself!!

As ya'll know, I had to keep my ass at home due to the rising cost of life this summer, no vacation for my family this year. And that really gets to me. I anit nothing but a simple man, I dont ask for much if anything, and I'ma the first to help out those who are less forcanet. And here I am having to keep all up on this mountain while those bastards sit and get richer by the day. I've done did had enough!!

So, if ya'll would, stand up with me starting monday and lets put one hell of a bug up some asses to get what we deserve!!!!

Big Man Out

Alighty now, lemme fill ya'll in. I sat up with a case of Bud and got myself at least 7 of those damn yard gnomes!!! I think I best sit out and try to get more of em'!!I must of got the little bugger that has been causing all the hell around here. Its done did been good.

But here I sit once again with a few too.......Not enough Bud in me and ready to start to rambiling about something. But the funny thing is is that I dont know about what. I could sit here and go on about nothing for a couple of moments.But what nothing should I talk about. YA'll know how I feel about the rising gas cost, and lemme tell ya , its not getting any better!! And yet today no one has the brass balls to stand up and say anything. So oh well, right?

I'ma at a loss for words, aint that something.

I bet ya'll thought I was going to be M.I.A. longer than this, welp, to tell ya the truth, I could not get this here box to open up my blog site for a few days. Why the hell not, nothing seems to be right up here on the top of the mountain.

A few notes of the last couple days, Joe Joe and I got to spend a night at camp, no its not all done but its workable. We had hot dogs on hamburger bunns, a good hot fire, and a rain free night. He done did kinda freaked himself out with the night time sounds, but the 4 wheelers cooling done really got to him. It would be so quiet, and then all of the sudden ya would here a ping pang of the motors cooling off. But once in the camper all was good.

The next night we all thought we would get the whole fam out there...even the dogs....NOT GOOD!!

The night started off great. fire, bunks made, no rain, it was all looking good. Then one dog would get them selves all messed up in a tree, then the next one and as you was doing one the other one was doing it all over again. So, now it came the time to go in and "TRY" to go to sleep....HA HA HA HA .... NOT, NOPE, ZIP, ZERO on the sleep part. See, Raven our black lab did not want in that sleeping box one bit. So she would be up and all over the place, and panting so hard that it was rocking the camper. After the feeling of getting sea sick was over, and all seemed to be calming down, she lets out a bark that would curl ya hair!!! That was it, everyone was ready to pack up and head home. Lemme tell ya'll, I never seen 2 dogs, 2 kids and a wife move so quick in my life!

We have even been out one the 4 wheelers alot lately. Joe Joe just wants that thing to be moving all the time, 24/7 if he could. But we do go on a good ride the other day. It was about a good 20 miles, the longest he has been on. And yesterday he got his first true taste of mud and deep water. There is an ol' dirt road up home here that has 5 huge long mud pits on it. Well, being the good guy and having to make sure they was safe I done did run thru first. Lemme say this, it was cold damn deep and smelled like shit!! But the biggest part, it was FUN.

Amy didn't ride on the first time thru, but she didn't have a choice the second time.

So, that's a bit of whats been going on up here on top of the mountain. Yeah I know its not as wild as some of the other days, but its all been good

Until Next Time...

Big Man Out

I done did find this pretty funny and wanted to share it with ya'll. I took the three kids to the local dam and over herd a mom talking to her Friends. By the time she was done I was almost in tears from trying to not laugh out loud and also from thinking of just how true it was!!

When my parents come to visit, as in these holidays, I get flashbacks of childhood. Like when I was a kid, my mother had pat answers and special quips she dished out over and over. One of my least favorites was "Because I said no." I remember thinking what an unfair reply that was to a request.This is my memory of the process:
"Can I spend the night at Vicky's?""No.""Why not?""Because I said no."
Why couldn't she give me a decent reason when turning down my requests? She treats me like a child! She never says that to other adults! Humph!! (sound of feet stomping, door slamming here) I vowed that when I became a parent, I would not repeat the motherizms I grew up with, particularly that one. I would provide reasonable explainations to MY children. Well, I now have children making ridiculous requests and have come to realize that my memory of the discourse between my mother and I was probably not complete. Perhaps it went more like this little chat I recently had with my daughter:
"Can I spend the night at Emily's?"No.""Why not?""Because it's a school night.""But I can go to school with her tomorrow.""No. You'll be up late.""We'll go to bed early.""No. You always stay up late with Emily.""Why not? I promise we'll go to bed early!""No.""Why not?""Because it's a school night.""But what if we promise to go to bed early?""No.""Why not?""BECAUSE I SAID NO!"(sound of feet stomping, door slamming here, punctuated with a loud "It's not fair!" at the end)
Therein lies the Karma of parenthood.

To some of ya'll out there this should sound about right!!!

Big Man Out

Its been an interesting start to the summer up here on this mountain, and thats to say the least. Between everything taking its turn breaking down, its been fun, NOT. But the motor luck is also hitting the in-laws to. They just had to have their car towed. I think the yard Gnomes are coming alive at night and playing against us!!

But now the Kids are home with me and now my days are spent talking to someone that talks back, not just turn their head and look at me in hopes I drop food. And the Big Man here is even babysittin.... Don't laugh..... Stop it .... Yes I can babysit. Actually its not to bad, the little girl is a family Friend, and Jade just loves her to pieces. And on my end, I think she is afraid I might bite or try to eat her if we run outta food or something. When I talk to her , her eyes get huge then she talks to the floor. Most of the time the kids have to tell me what she says cuz I cant hear a single word she says.

And this kid dont eat, or at least around me she dont. I have 2 birds that eat more than I have seen her eat. And if I walk in the room when they are playing, she is done till i walk out.

So I'ma done for now, I'ma gonna go load up the guns and get ready for tonight. I'ma gonna shoot me a yard Gnome!!!

Big Man Out

Here ya'll go. Its almost like a test, so now ya'll be able to tell when someone is really drunk

Drunken Language

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

:1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I'm not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to piss in this parking lot or on the road side.

10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Big Man Out

Just when ya think its all going your way.... WHAMM!!! Something else has to come up from behind ya and kick ya in the ass!!

As some of ya'll may know, Joey got himself a new 4-wheeler, one that is a brand name and one I can find parts for.Done did picked it up Thursday, and we,ve been slinging mud since. My bike seems to be running good besides burning oil, so it all should be good right... ah ...Nope.

Amy this morning was gonna go with some of her Friends and had hopped in that road legal tank of hers' and guess what... can ya hear the music in the back ground...Listen real hard

Dunt Dunt Dunt, Another one bites the dust, and another one down and another one down...Ya'll get the idea.

It done did seem that her tank felt outta place by working and runnin likes its pos' to, so now its on strike, just had it towed outta here this morning. That guy at the garage is starting to like us more than I want him to.

So now, after this here mess gets done, we should be good go for a bit .... Damn well better!!

Big Man Out

A new pastor moved into a town, and he went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation "Genesis 3:10."

Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

Genesis 3:10 So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself."

And they say us here rednecks is stupid...

Big Man Out

Some days I think that there is someone up above having a good laugh at me. The things that seem to happen could not even be written in a good script for a tv show!!

Yesterday, the better half, took the 4-wheeler out to go for a ride around the country side, I watched the kids. About an hour later I get myself a phone call that says HELP, I'm stuck. I'ma thinking to myself that it cant be all that bad. Just go there and give a little shove and she'll be out. HA HA HA....... NOT!!!

Ya'll should of seen the path that she was on... There was NONE. So after a short walk about, she was found up ahead. So on my way to try to be the Prince Charming (more like Shrek), I had seem to find the mud. Oh, not just any mud, shoe eating mud. That slop ate my left shoe right offa my foot. I mean gone, see ya, bye bye!! Now i'ma shoeless on the left side. I try shoving my hand down in the hole to find... well... NOTHING.

What the hell was I gonna do? I said "screw it to myself and kicked the other one off into the weeds. Now I'ma out there trekking in my socks. I can feel everyplace on the bottom of my feet this morning where shit was poking the flats of me feet.

So after walking a bit more up the path that was not there, I find the 4-wheeler. There aint no little shove gonna happen. It done did was buried up to the nose of it and the ass-end was half way gone too. I figured I would start it and try to gas it and shove at the same time. So I walked to the front and ....OH BOY... I was ass deep in the most horrible smelling, gushy, slime, leech infested shit water mud you could find.I have short legs, and I was going down in that stuff faster than I would ever want too.

One part i left out is kinda amazing too. Amys' cousin showed up as I'ma leaving. So I had him, his kid, and my two in the blazer. The kids was smart and stayed in the truck (wish I would of).But the funny thing is, is that here is Amy and myself just covered in the mud from the bad place and he is still clean as he was when he showed up... How the hell does that happen???

But anyways, I send him back to fetch the blazer and to just meet us back at the house, and I would get Amy and the 4-wheeler outta that hole.

Once we are back and trying to clean off, Jade comes up with that cute little grin she does and informs me that she was a bit nervous and PUKED all thru the back of my Blazer. So not only do I stink like POO and Amy along with the bike, now my Blazer has the blasting smell of puke!

So without a dought, the end to my day yesterday was interesting and a tad bit stinky!!!

Until the next time...

Big Man Out